Time Vs Space
by lupin and black
Summary: Sam remembers a time when he was young and Dean was the best big brother in the world.


A/N I have no idea what the title means in relation to the story …reviews good or bad are welcomed…encouraged …come on people I'm a review whore. Peace

Time Vs Space

Things were different. I don't really understand how but ever since we moved to Arizona Dean had been different. Not drastically different, he still walked with me to school, picked me up, looked over my homework and under the bed before and after we turned off the light but he was different. Taller since the summer and ..different.

I dropped the empty milk carton in the trash. The house was still, quiet almost unnervingly so. Dean was in our room reading and that's just weird. It's not that Dean doesn't read. He does a lot actually, not books like bestsellers or anything like that. He likes practical books, old reference guides, books on magic and folklore stuff like that. When he reads it's usually with the radio on loud. He hasn't been big on music lately and that's almost scary. I placed a plate of cookies and two glasses of milk on a tray next to a bag of salted stick pretzels Dean liked. The tray was heavy and the milk trembled in the glasses. I walked slowly down the dusty hall making sure to keep the tray balanced. The door to the room I share with Dean was half open. I pushed it all the way open with my foot. Dean didn't even look up from where he sat knees curve up to support the book he was reading, his hair stuck up in a crazy tuff, a pen cap was stuck in his mouth. I rested the tray on the crowded desk. It was piled high with books Dean actually took out the library… with a library card which was .. weird.. He usually stole the books he wanted or got me to cheek them out.

I took the bag of pretzels and a glass of milk off the tray and climbed on the bed shifting close to Dean's side so I could peak over his arm to see what he was reading. He looked away from the page to give me a dirty look. I offered him a stick pretzel. He spits out the pen cap and took the offered food.

"Why are you looking up succubus"

"None of your fucking business."

"Your not suppose to use that word dad said."

"Well he not fucking here is he." He sounded angry about that. Which is not right because Dean sometimes sounds kind of sad when dad left us behind but never angry.

"Don't be mean to me whatever it is I didn't do it."

He gave me this pinched look like he wanted to shove me or say something that he knew would make me cry but he won't because he hates when I cry.

"Go away Sammy."

"I brought you milk and cookies and pretzels."

"Go do your homework I have work to do."

"You're not doing your homework."

"I finished mine already."

I knew he was lying because he'd been home as long as I had and all this time he'd been reading his stupid book on sex demons. I pouted and clutched my glass of milk to my chest. He closed the book and stole my glass of milk. I frown at my stole milk, he ignored me just drained most of the milk in one long swallow. I slide off the bed and grab the other glass of milk and the plate of cookies. He's tucked all the books at the foot of the bed. I get back on the bed slowly cradling the glass of milk to my chest. It was a big bed. Dad said king size it came with the apartment. Me and Dean shared it dad took the couch when he's home which recently has not been a lot which made Dean prissy beyond belief. Dean finished off his milk and rest the glass on the floor.   
"It's late Sammy you should be asleep."

I shrugged. "It's only 11 and it's not a school night and you're not going to sleep."

"I'm bigger then you I can stay up as late as I want." I rolled my eyes and shoved a cookie in his face. He bit the cookie and reached pinched my stomach. I wiggled away. I would have hit him but my hands were full. He smirked at me and talked around the half chewed cookie. "Don't spill milk on the bed."

"Don't pick on me you big bully."

"Bully that's so clever Sammy."

"Shut up asshole."

I didn't know why I wanted him to be old Dean again old Dean was kind of pushy. He smiled than all bright green eyes and shiny white teeth and yeah I kind of missed pushy old Dean.

"Gimma the glass Sammy."

I took a long swallow of my milk and let him take the glass. I finished off the cookies while he got off the bed carried his notebooks and loss leaf papers to the messy desk.

"You should get ready for bed Sammy."

"I brought you a snack you should let me stay up."

He looked over something in one of his notebooks and nodded. "Fine I have to stay up for a few more hours anyway you can watch a movie but you can't bother me."

"I don't want to go to the living room by myself."

"Sam"

"Dean" I stretch his name out he pulled a dad face but I know he won't leave me alone outside.

"You are such a fucking baby get change for bed I'll sit outside with you."

I smile because yeah Dean's already give into the pout. I grab another cookie and hop off the bed.

Dean didn't change for bed but he did sit outside with me. He didn't watch the movie but he at least lets me tell him stuff about it. The movie seemed wrong with out Dean's ongoing commentary. I guess I fall asleep because when I woke up it's was to the sound of Dean's infuriated voice screaming at dad who was not screaming back and that was ten steps beyond weird. Dad never lets Dean scream at him like that not even when Dean is right. I slide out from under the cover I didn't remember pulling over me and moved slowly out into the hall making sure not to step on spots that squeaked and stick close to the wall.

Dad was standing by the door he looked haggard in a tired beyond tired way and Dean was standing in front of him a weird amulet hanging from his hand. Dean looked pissed face set in a scowl hair sticking up. He said something to low for me to hear and dad looked up and spots me.

"Sammy" Dad's voice sounded half way broken.

My name changed Dean's face, the scowl fell away as he turned to look at me. He slide the amulet into his pocket.

"Sammy what are you doing out of bed."

"Why are you fighting with dad?"

"I'm not fighting with dad we're just talking." He stepped in front of me blocking my path to dad. "Come on Sammy I'll take you back to bed."

"I want to say hi to dad." I knew I was pouting and I sounded childish but I hadn't seen dad in 3 weeks and he looked like he need a hug bad.

Dad gave me a tired smile. "You should go with your brother Sammy."

Dad turned toward the door hand resting to on the doorknob. "Goodnight boys"

"Daddy where are you going?"

Dean shot him a dirty look. "Dad is going out. Sammy he'll be back tomorrow. Come on I'll put you to bed."

He reached for me, lifting me up. I slide my arms around his neck. Dean doesn't really pick me up that much any more and I admitted if only to myself that I liked it when he did. "By daddy."

I gave him a small wave. He gave me a small waved and smiled. The smile seemed less tired. "Bye kiddo I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay."

Dean carried me down the hall toward our room. Dad locked the door behind himself. Dean dumped me on the bed a frown on his face. "I have to go salt the doorway I'll be right back."

He turned on the light without me having to remind him. I pull the covers over me and waited. Dean came back in to the room the frown melted away but he still doesn't look happy.

"Dean"

"What Sammy" He was in the middle of changeing his pants. He paused to give me a look before tossing his jeans at my head. I shoved the pants off the bed on to the floor.

"Something is wrong with dad."

"Yeah but he's… he's dealing with it."

"He looked tired."

Dean ran a hand over his face. It's a gesture that reminded me a lot of dad. "Yeah he's tried but Pastor Jim is coming down tomorrow to help him. I'll be okay Sammy. You want me to read you a story?"

"I'd rather you tell me a story. Come here."

And he came, a small smile on his face. He kicked of his socks, pulled off his shirt and climbed under the covers. I shifted till my head was resting on his shoulder. And he started in on my favorite story the one about the brothers who kill the big bad wolf and get to visit the house made out of candy.

I jerk awake as the last of the dream melts away. I suck in a breath there is a pale early morning light creeping in through the hotel window. Dean's breath sounds steady and calm from were he lay stretched out on the other motel bed. The dream wasn't a dream at all more like a half forgotten memory. It was so long ago I was all of 8 and Dean a new 12. I don't know what brought it up. I didn't know it than but I found out later from pastor Jim that dad had been mislead by a succubus that looked to much like mom for him to think straight. Dean caught on fast and called Pastor Jim in to help. I don't know what the fight in the hall was about or what the amulet Dean was showing to dad did, neither of them ever told me. Dean had always been clever when it came to demons and sprites. He away caught on quick. it was rear for dad not to cathc on to thing but when he missed something Dean was sure to catch it.  
That was a weird time the year we spent in Arizona. I don't remember dad being around much all I remember is Dean and long hours spent in the over heated bedroom and stretched out on the living room floor. We spent a lot of time indoors that year.  
I drop backward on to my borrowed bed. I roll on to my side so I can see the outline of Dean in the limp light of the early morning sun. He is stretched out on his back, one hand tucked under his pillow, one foot hanging off the side of the bed. His face is still in shadow but his body looks comfortable. I lay there for awhile watching the rising sun make Dean's face visible and I wonder not for the first time why did it take all this heartache to make me finally see how much of Dean I missed before I started paying attention.


End file.
